Sunday, 31 July 2011

We've hit a wall...

or a big hunk of concrete!

Currently the renos have come to a screaming halt, and the reason is a little word - SLAB, big problem! Now we are Australian and when I sent my BIL a text asking if he would help Dean break through a slab - I didn't mean drink a carton of beer. But with the amount of success they had, you would think they had been drinking all day!

Our old office, which will be divided between the new kitchen and dining, was previously tiled. It was part of an extension done by the previous owners. They had extended back and tiled a new laundry and office, but laid floorboards for the living area. Now we want to add on to the living area to include an open plan dining, living, kitchen and there is a slab in our way!

Dean, being a money man, decided rather than enlist the help of the man with the big saw again, he would do it himself! Currently, after 2 days, we have six square inches less concrete.

I am slowly visualising Rose's birthday in my MIL's house. The day I start thinking I might be eating my Christmas dinner here, you can say I have lost hope. We have bricks arriving this week and need the concrete gone to build footings for the new slab. With us going to Bali on Friday, I can see our home sitting as is for 2 weeks. {sob}

On a much happier note, I purchased a new table today. I am in love. It is very similar to our current table, but seats 8-10. I found myself staring at it, just thinking about the meals and conversations that will be had around that table. That table will be the one my babies will sit at for the rest of their childhood.

I know, to you it is just a table, but to me, it is a fresh bit of enthusiasm about this renovation. Just in time, as I was about to call upon my BIL to help me break through a slab {of beer}.

Saturday, 30 July 2011

Officially "The Ladies"

My new master bath is going to be pure heaven, but this has not come about in a heavenly manner. There have been squabbles. Dean and I have disagreed about many things and there are still areas of unresolved design.

I have very strong feelings about the loo. It is true that if you were to be caught on the loo, you would want to be found side on! Men, have different views, from behind you see a slight plumbers crack, side on - the plumbing! From a young age, girls are taught to cross their legs and be a lady - no can do on the loo - it's the man sit - and not nice front on!

Loo bling!
Only $175,000
We have also disagreed on the amount of privacy an ensuite needs. According to Dean, none. No doors, walls, half walls, screens, nothing. I need a door - near my foot. My loo is my office. I have four children who happily sit on the floor while I am "working". I want to be able to put my foot behind it to stop someone entering whilst I'm doing my business.

Not only has he positioned the door non-foot distance away, he has positioned it next to a floor to ceiling window. Oh no, I need mood lighting. Natural light in a toilet is a no-no. I don't want to see my rude bits in natural light whilst doing those things! And really, a bathroom filled with natural light and reflective, sparkling, white tiles sounds amazing, but would you really get naked in such a room? Not me, not until after dusk. I am going to have to rise with the sparrows to shower before dawn. This is not about anybody else seeing me naked - I don't want to see myself in that light!

Dean has no sense of loo privacy either. He will just walk in and talk to me like I am sitting at the table. I need to be able to lock him out! My loo is my library, my celebrity gossip watercooler (aka trashy magazine haunt), and where I catch up on the importance of Dean's FHM subscription (only because he leaves them on the floor, right next to the bowl, like his imaginary bookshelf).

Luckily, there will be two more loos downstairs - one just for me, and believe me, it will be worth the skip! I am officially naming it "The Ladies". Light - subtle, but readable. Acoustics - great, inside a room, inside the laundry. Door - foot distance and parallel to the seat!

Skip to the loo my darling...

Friday, 29 July 2011

"To do" list for Mum to do

It is official, this time next week, I will be in another country, this realisation has increased my anxiety levels tenfold.

I started my list for mum today.
It included things like -

  • Spaghetti bolognese in freezer - add pasta and cheese
  • Tuna casserole in freezer (Don't tell Cate or she won't eat vegetables until the tuna is gone)
  • Tuna casserole can be used as a BRIBE (actually written in caps!)
  • "Change filter" flashing on coffee machine - Ignore
  • Canteen only on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays as backup (will really need to organise lunches for other days - NO NUTS)
  • Strict 7pm bedtime. 7.30 for big girls only if PERFECT ANGELS (again in caps)
  • Sport uniforms: Rose - Wed, Fri; Cate - Thurs, Fri; Josephine - Fri
  • Can you tie a tie???
  • Piece of fruit for Josephine each school day (will only eat green apples, strawberries and bananas) {I have asked canteen and kindy parents to have a spare in case you forget or run out}
So far I have 4 pages, in no logical order, just written as it spilled into my mind. 

As I was making the list I was beginning to feel like I was under control and that surely mum will be fine then, I was handed the invitations! Rose has been invited to a party at 10am and then Josephine at 1pm, 40 minutes apart on the same day! {Insert nervous laughter}

I realise they don't have to go to all parties they are invited to, but Josephine's is at The Fairies {if you have girls, you will be nodding your head right now}, and Rose's is at the rollerdrome - even I want to go! I will need to get some presents organised though.
(Not sure about party protocol, present = present?)

On another note, today Grace got her ears pierced. Ever since Josephine got her ears done last year, she has been intent on getting it done. She was very eager to choose her ear rings and bounded up on to the chair. I paid the extra to get both ears done at the same time (luckily). She sat quietly on my lap while they counted to three. One. Two. Three. Bang. Silence. SCREAMING! I felt like the worst mother in the world. She cuddled into me and sobbed. She refused a lolly from the lady with the gun (understandably), and between sobs, begged me to take them out. It still makes me cry thinking about it.  Chips, tomato sauce and apple juice was the antidote. Then when she was all bouncy and happy again, stupidly I suggested she ring Dean to tell him the news, only when she put the phone to her ear, the screams started again! 

I did make extra of the tuna casserole for their tea so, sore ears or not, I am the best mum in the world to them tonight. Let's see if I can hold on to that title for the next week before I go. (Ok, realistically, I should aim for 24 hours when sometimes, something as simple as asking them to get in the bath can induce accusations that I'm "the worst mother ever"!)

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Uber-organised me

This term I am determined to be more organised.

On the girls' first day back at school, I was uber-organised and it was bliss. There was no yelling, emotional crying or fighting, the house was tidy, tea cooked and kids bathed and fed by 5pm. I felt so organised, we went to the shop to buy ice-cream, all before The Brady Bunch. (I can thank my Thermomix - my life saver most nights)

I made a chart similar to this a few years ago and had it laminated and stuck on the fridge. The girls had a different magnet each that they would move along as they completed each chore. This was fantastic, but it was misplaced in the move. 

I have now updated it for each child and thought I would share with my friends - I've decided to have a giveaway. I will make a personalised, custom, A4 chart for the first 3 people who email me. These charts can be altered for boys or girls and different school activities and chores. I will contact you for your details if you win. You will receive a customised, high resolution PDF file of the 2 pages to print out and use as you wish.

This version has room to write notes. Once laminated a white board marker would easily rub off at week end. (I have found that Eucalyptus oil helps get it off if it is stubborn.)

Don't be discouraged if you think you are too late to enter - if I get enough entries (and motivation), I will run another competition. How exciting, my first giveaway.

Monday, 25 July 2011

My latest project

After a couple of trips to second hand stores, I decided to paint some frames for magnetic pinup boards. This is a little tutorial to make your own.

And voila! A great present for kids. I have glued some little soccer balls to magnets. You can use buttons, wooden letters or party favour trinkets - no pins, cute and fun.

The pink one is for Josephine and the second one is for a birthday present.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Can of worms!

When Cate was born the mother's of premature babies would congregate in the parents room, on a Friday afternoon, for a bonding session. This was hosted by the hospital social worker.

I was one of about ten mums who would turn up. I would watch mum's come and go, some home with a baby, some without.

Sitting in a room with other mums living the same life as you was healing. It helped me get through to the next week, to hear how other babies were going and gave me hope.

But most of all it taught me that you cannot judge a persons pain by the cause. I walked into the very first session and listened to a mother of triplets talk about her pain at loosing one of her babies. I am ashamed to say I was angry at her. She was going home with two babies. How selfish, I was lucky if my sole twin would make it home!

After my next session and listening to numerous other mothers, my feelings changed. I saw a mother inconsolable because her child, considered one of the healthy babies, was having a blood transfusion. He was a big, strong baby, no monitors, no cords, just needed a top up. Next to tell their story was a lady who spoke without tears, just a numbness, about the most horrid things for such a tiny soul.

Who are we to judge people's pain? Our tears are not a measure of our anguish. Our smiles don't measure our happiness, so why should we be so judgemental of people's sorrow.

This was spurred from a conversation I had with my SIL yesterday. We were discussing a comment made on tv this week about how a mother of a sick child in hospital would be happy with our lives and that mums shouldn't complain so much.

Having been one of those mum's sitting aside her sick child's hospital bed once, I can tell you, I disagree. As a mum, you have every right to all of your feelings. Please, this is just a big step backwards for PND. If every mother just shut up and never complained or voiced their difficulties, there would be no solutions. There would be no autism, ADHD, aspergers - no mother would take their child to the doctor to find out if that behaviour, rash, stutter or alike was normal. 

I thank God every day for my beautiful, amazing children, but some days are challenging. I am not perfect and I don't want anybody to think that I am. We should be able to speak our hopes, dreams, thoughts and fears about our children with freedom and support. There is alway going to be someone out there worse off than you and it is a positive motto to live by, but you, your children and your family deserve the love and support that comes with honesty.

Friday, 22 July 2011

My heart is a flutter!

This weekend I am thinking Wall Art.

I am so excited about our renovation and the ideas whirring through my mind can keep me awake at night. I can't wait to show those who have shared my torn out inspiration and listened to ramblings of colour combinations. I feel a home is a reflection of who you are and I never forget the adage "look to your wardrobe for inspiration when decorating". This was easy. I recently arranged my wardrobe in rainbow order. Not tops, dresses and skirts, but from red, pink and orange through to violet and black.

A painting by Clare.
Josie's is currently packed.
Working in advertising and design, you would be surprised to know - I am not a lover of paintings. Sorry. I hear your shock. I recently confessed this to my friend Josie, gasp, she and another friend had both painted me pictures in the past! I love their artworks and had them hung in my bedroom and kitchen, maybe my affliction is with art from artists I don't understand? She is now on a mission to overturn my opinion. I mean, some of those oversized pieces with strategically splashed paint selling for thousands - baffling.

I am, however, inspired by walls as art. Recently my boss wallpapered his bedroom wall in comic strips (his wife helped), it looks amazing. He is currently covering our work wall in Post-its! A pixelated wall of Post-its. The images below are from some equality inspired artist. The image of Elvis, is similar to our work wall to be.

I love the idea of tea towels mounted on canvas and hung as inexpensive art. I recommend Third Drawer Down and To Dry For. Men's T's are coming out with some fantastic designs on them so, why not stretch over canvas too? Greeting cards with fantastic prints, either illustrated or screen printed also make cost effective wall candy. But I'm really loving old advertising prints - Bally, Persil. I have a gift voucher for Vintage Venus and still can't decide (a year on). And strange items in frames - matchbox collections, bottle tops, heart lollies? What a fabulous way to express yourself!

This weekend I hope to get back to my own little art project. A sweet little collection of photos of my girls cut out in butterfly shapes, displayed in a heart - "My Heart is a Flutter."

Wish me luck.

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

You light up my life

Lights. An important decorating decision. I have a little obsession with light fittings. They are the first thing I notice when I walk into a room.

Chandeliers, retro fittings, drum lights, fairy lights, lanterns, down lights, tea light candles - all make me smile. I have visions of floating lights on my pool, fairy lights hung in trees in my backyard and romantic mood lighting in my bedroom.

I spotted Josephine's bedroom light over a year ago. I was at a birthday party nearby and saw it in a shop window. A hot pink, felt covered chandelier of birds and leaves. This is the actual photo I took on my phone while it hung in the store.

While on a wallpaper hunt last year, I stumbled upon a beautiful green chandelier. I photographed it and told Dean that if he ever had a moment of utter frivolity, I wanted that chandelier! It broke my heart to hear that there was another in ruby red at their other store. {sigh, it still hurts}

In Melbourne on a holiday 3 years ago, I saw a fabulous cluster of retro lights. I was smitten. Wouldn't it look great hanging low in a soaring stairwell? Then, recently, Mrs S. did something similar - I will walk past just to peruse their lights.

Has anyone noticed the lights hanging above Mrs Foreman's kitchen bench in That 70s Show? Cheese graters! Maybe not as cool as this bright orange one, but just as fun.

I am always on the lookout for fabulous lights. The only ones I have actually purchased are Josephine's and one pale pink, glass, retro light fitting. They are proving to be difficult to find (or I am very picky). All the more fun looking!

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Friday on my mind

I can't believe the school holidays are nearly over. {sob}

This hit me while I was driving home from work yesterday. Every holidays are the same - because we have a lot of friends and family that live out of the city, during our holidays we play catch up. These holidays, by the time they end, I would have spent exactly one day home with just myself and the girls! That day will be this Friday.

Because of our living arrangements, the girls haven't had many play dates this year. I can't expect a mum to drive half an hour each way to come and pick up a child after school. I also find that after the drive and homework, there is no time to play!

Next year will be different. We will be living a street away from school and all of their school friends again, but, next year they will be another year older. {sigh} And, I will always have family spread out in a semi circle, north, south and east at a 2-3 hour radius from us!

That said, I do understand that my tears are not just for my children this week. My dad is responsible for some too, but I am pretty sure all of my anxiety is about Bali. 17 days. The stress levels are rising. I am terrified, teary, tired and temperamental. If you missed my vent read it here. Secretly, I am hoping when I arrive home, the cloud will have lifted. I know that the stress of being away from the girls will be over, and the flying, but I also hope some R and R is just what the doctor ordered.

I did get some quotes for another holiday today while Dean was feeling generous. 5 days in Broome - 4 kids, 2 adults - say goodbye to thousands! He also suggested we do it sooner, rather than later. I might be boarding a jetplane more often than I have a prescription for! (The jolly pills my lovely doctor has on file for every time I fly).

Counting down to Friday. Home, 4 girls and mummy, movies, nail polish, baking biscuits and sewing headbands for friends. I can't wait.

Sunday, 17 July 2011

A wet weekend on the farm

The farm in winter is beautiful. Mud laneways, green paddocks, dams filled with water rippling outwards in circles. Heaven. Home made bread, soup and roasts soothe us while the raging, devilish wood fire keeps us warm. The smell outside is fresh with wet sand and grass.

Girls run around in the puddles and collect the eggs from the chook pen. Everything screams of fertility and new beginnings. The only things missing are the lamb's tails, tadpoles and mushrooms (not including the toadstools, growing in mum's garden).

Rain in the city means we do everything we can to avoid getting wet. We have garages joined to the house, undercover parking at the shops, rain covers for pets and prams. The reason we don't venture outside on the farm, is not the rain, but the cold. It was so cold today the gap between my pants and my slippers almost iced over!

Yesterday was a little warmer, the sun shone, but in a winter way. We took the girls scavenging at the old rubbish tip. There is no bin collection on the farm, rubbish is disposed of in a hole in the ground. Things that we don't see anymore are still degrading. It delighted the girls to see the many rusting tins and they collected old medicine bottles for flowers.

Spending time with a melancholy dad was also a must. Reminding him of what it is he is fighting for. I keep telling him, "You are giving up a lifestyle and gaining a life". He is a bit sad about losing a big part of who he is. He is a smoker, a drinker, a man who likes his food with butter, fried and piled with potatoes. The funny part is that he really wants to stop smoking, but is devastated about his butter!

Thanks, for a lovely weekend. It was great to get away from a half done house. Happy birthday dad. I hope that this year brings you happiness and fulfilment. That all that you strive to achieve, you do. That health comes with butterlessness. I love you.

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Take 2 with food

I'm feeling a little bipolar lately!

Cate and Josephine have been at the farm for a few days and I am missing them terribly, but in contrast, I have had a girlfriend staying over with her 2 children (so I don't ever seem to have less than 4), for a small holiday, which has been lovely.

Annabelle and I met through my mother's group when our first babies were born. She lived nearby and we had a lot in common. She has since moved away and life as well as location, keeps us apart.

Yesterday was spent shopping, antique browsing and lunching - my favourite way to spend a sunny winter's day, but as the day neared end, it seemed to morph into mayhem! The children were starting to show signs of being affected by over stimulation and too much sleeplessness and mum rang to inform me of Dad's test results.

In a condensed conversation, with children yelling on both ends of the phone, mum repeated highlights of her conversation with Dad's new doctor. The prognosis wasn't good, but not unexpected. I spent the hours before bed last night in tears.

Today, the news is less like a loud drum banging in my ears and more like tinnitus. My guests have waved us goodbye and the house is quiet. My two home girls are sick and lying on my bed watching TV and the only sound is my keyboard and the rain.

He will be ok. He is sick and will be for the rest of his life, but he has the power to not make it any worse, his choice - stop smoking now. I will not make him feel guilty for the very first cigarette he had 40 years ago and the ones he chooses to smoke from this point onwards. I can want him to stop. I know he wants to stop, I hope that this time it will work, but I will not judge him.

We make choices in life that can affect the amount of time we have here on earth. I admit I have picked up the mobile when it has beeped at me while driving. I know people who have driven drunk and someone who has driven tired, just to get home. Playing Russian roulette with our own lives and others. His choices affect the longivity of his own life not ours or anybody else's.

Today I feel better. I am going farmward this afternoon to see my babies and spend some precious time with my mum and dad. Maybe it is time you rang your parents - tell them you love them. How long has it been?

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Must you mess with my MOJO!

Something is wrong. The earth must have started spinning in the opposite direction! There have been a few discrepancies in my norm lately that have thrown me out of my comfort zone.

A new mum at school was wearing a brighter colour than me! We have a very well dressed school community. All the mums always look beautiful, but I'm not sure if it is a winter thing or the fact that darker makes us slimmer, but black is the predominant hue.

I am usually there in bright colours, over accessorised, dresses, heels etc, but on this particular day I was wearing shades of dark. A black damask coat with a fur stole clasped with a vintage brooch, patterned, brown, fishnet tights and my brown leather boots. No colour.

I waked into the classroom and adorning an unfamiliar face was the most adorable, coral-orange satin jacket I have ever seen. Pleated frills on the shoulders, wrapped in a belt. Pure envy flooded me. I had to walk out of the room!
Not the actual hat,
but equally enviable.

I then arrived at work, only for Josie, (the epitome of all things ladylike), to walk in wearing jeans and a hat! In the 9 years we have worked together, she has worn pants maybe 5 times and never a hat. Admittedly, my jealousy flared again as it was the most adorable hat ever. What was happening to me?

Yesterday she wore a hot pink beret, fuschia cardigan and heels plus the best ever magenta, crocheted scarf. She would catch me staring throughout the day and say, "You want me to make you one of these don't you?" Of course I did!!!

Then, on Saturday night, I went out to dinner wearing flats. They were terracotta, but flat. My friend Ness even commented on my being unusually vertically challenged - no heels. What was happening? I was going out for dinner, without the kids and I consciously took the heels off and opted for flats.

Whilst at dinner my girlfriend who married last year announced she was thinking babies! I don't think I ever considered her having one. She loves her social life, indulges in red grape juice often and has a waist the size of a keyring. She also has 3 part-time step children that came without stretch marks, baby weight, hormones and nine months of sobriety. Confused.

No, I can completely understand. She has watched my and Ness' kids grow. She was there the 7 times we announced we were pregnant. I think our kids would make anyone want a thousand. They are cute, funny, well behaved (mostly) and make us happier, better, more complete people.

I love being a mum and hope that she gets to experience the wonderfulness that is being a mother. As for the coral jacket lady - this is for you - my new coat - snap.

Monday, 11 July 2011

The actual cost of renovating

I went past my house today and you can see all the way down the side! The little girls room is completely gone (except for the pink wall that is now on the outside of the house), garage gone and the whole back of the house is missing walls and roof.

It was extremely difficult seeing my home ripped apart like that.

Dean and I had been seeing each other for 6 months when we started looking to purchase a house together. We were living in our first home before we celebrated our first year together. By the time we were married, we also had an investment property.

We purchased our current home in 2005 and immediately installed a new custom kitchen and knocked out walls. Back then we only had 2 children but we always intended on adding a second storey. The house had been extended twice before and for a family of four, was a really spacious home. Add 2 more girls and one bathroom was never going to last us forever.

Dean works for a pool company so a pool was second on our list. Suddenly the list had grown to four bedrooms, a second storey that covered half of the house, a new living area that was moved to the back of the house. Glass doors spanning the whole back of our house. A playroom, office, formal lounge/theatre/guest bedroom, a new bathroom and laundry. And the list goes on.

All of this new space requires a new look. A few extra bedrooms means more furniture. Light fittings, staircase, outdoor kitchen, decking and so on.

There is also the secret extras. The things that you forget about when you try to fathom such a feat. Tarpaulins (which you wouldn't need if you were smart and did this in summer), scaffolding, temporary fencing - and I'm sure there are more surprises to come.

The actual building might end up being the cheapest part of this arduous adventure. I can add my sanity and our marriage as another unforeseen expense! I realise it would be a waste of time to divorce right now as I wouldn't get half a house, we only have half a house between us!

No, in all seriousness, there is no talk of divorce. Dean is my everything. A wonderful father, perfect husband, amazing man. I am so proud to be his wife and am so lucky to be going through this amazing experience with such a smart and fun person.

But, I can't be sure he feels the same way at the moment....

Saturday, 9 July 2011

Will the farm fade my frustrations?

With it officially school holidays I am still deciding whether I am ready for, excited by, terrified of, relieved about or dreading the next few weeks.

I know I am saddened by the fact that with work days, I will only see my girls 7 more days than normal. It saddens me further that they like to visit their grandparents during the holidays for some time alone and I already feel like I never see them anymore and miss them so much when they are gone.

Cate has a wonderful relationship with my parents and loves the farm. She sews and cooks with my mum and talks my dad's ears off! The other girls now want to go too. I don't want to stop them but don't think it is fair to send them all up at once, so someone always gets upset because they can't go.

I am really looking forward to not having to do the school runs. I won't have to get out of bed in the cold and rush to do their hair and yell "brush your teeth" a thousand times before 8am. I can stay in bed, with girls under blankets with me. We can play games and cook together. We can stay in our pyjamas all day!

On the other hand, I am dreading the days stretching into weeks and feeling like I'm drowning - not waving!!

I am feeling a little like that now. I like to make things, redecorate, move the furniture around. Things I can't do here. I get out of bed, run the girls to school, come home, clean, cook. Got back to school. Get home sometimes 2 hours later, then cook tea, bath kids, feed kids. There is also homework in there. Read stories. Clean up again. Washing. Then, to top it all off, it is groundhog day again tomorrow and you do it all again!

I'm feeling a bit like a machine at the moment. Everything is routine. If I try to change something, the whole system is kaput!

Now before you say I need to get more organised, note that I am the epitome of organisation. I have charts for chores, alarms for appointments, clothes for the next day laid out the morning in advance! I just think that I am feeling a little pulled in a thousand directions and slightly monotonous, robotic. Unappreciated. And now that I've said it - selfish.

The end of a term is hard on not just the children. I know mine are tired, emotional and physically and mentally exhausted and so am I. When they get angry and emotional, I respond accordingly. And when I get upset, poor Dean receives the brunt of it.

I think a few days spent in our pjs, take away dinner, movie mornings, cuddles in bed and daddy home before dinner is the antidote to my angst. Or, hopefully, some time with my own mum and dad on the farm will make all my troubles willow away. Say goodbye to stoic as we drive out of the city, watching the urban skyline fade over the horizon.

Thursday, 7 July 2011

Panadol vs Pampering

The migraine has continued today. No amount of Panadol (or stronger for those who know me well) is helping.

I did wake up feeling horrible, but, thanks to my two best friends, I partook in an hour of pampering. Dean suggested I go back to bed, but lying down, having a facial was just the ticket! I felt amazing. The only downfall was that once I got up, I felt crappy again.

Thank you to Toni and Ness for the lovely birthday gift, used on just the right day. I hope tomorrow brings clear skies, happy children, painless head and while I'm making unrealistic wishes - meals that prepare themselves and houses that stay clean!!!

Ok, I'm over the self pity - bring happiness to all and a big hug to those around me who need it right now.

The chair that was

I had plans for a day of domestic duties, but unfortunately, the house is untidy, kids are watching TV and I am about to curl up on the couch with my babies and hope Dean comes home early. I am sending him subtle ESP nudges that I hope he recognises as my calls for help.

I have a migraine.

This is why... I tried to recover a chair! When I start a project I sit and go until it is done - no drinks, food or toilet breaks. I am also a self taught (if you could even say "taught") seamstress! Today was my first attempt at piping.

I don't love it (hence why it is embellished with a cute kid and bow in the photo). Maybe it is the mind numbing ache of my head that is making me say that, but I don't. I am happy I learnt something today, but I hate dislike it. This just means that it will be amazing next time. Things are always faster, easier and better the second time around!

Stay tuned.

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