Sunday, 6 November 2011

Counting stairs to sleep

After a weekend of work, work, work, I find myself lounging on the couch in need of a pen. A million thoughts run through my exhausted mind and I need to take notes for my scrap book about tiles and stairs. So being lazy smart, I start thinking more laterally, and decide to post my ideas.

This week we did a spot of stair shopping and I bet you've never thought about how much one can lay awake at night, fretting about a staircase. So here is the image I sent to the stair-making-man.


Simple, jarrah tread and handrail, white posts and verticals, done. No, there's much more to consider when choosing a staircase, as I now know. There is a bottom step, that sometimes curves around and is larger than the other steps, then there is to have a "stringer" or not. (A stringer is where the posts hit a timber running up the staircase parallel to the handrail {see image below} - the one above has them landing on each step.)

The one above also has the two bottom steps larger than the others. Our stairs need only one railing as it is against a wall, so finding a picture that I can just send on to the stair-making-man with a post-it saying, "stop confusing me, just make this," is proving to be a challenge.

I am beginning to notice a pattern. The very feminine gentleman at the tile shop gave me an unpleasant look when I merely noted how strange it was that one black tile didn't have a white tile to match. And why their 20x20 tiles (really 19.8x19.8) didn't line up with their 20x40 tiles, doesn't anybody want their tiles to line up anymore? (And yes, that includes grout, they still don't line up.)

There was also the man at the restoration shop. I innocently questioned his recycled, eco friendly timber deck substitute and why it costs so much. His response was that it needed no maintenance. It was hanging on the wall with a large water stain down it, next to a perfect jarrah sample. So, I stated the obvious, oops. Apparently, he didn't mean scrubbing watermarks off as maintenance, he meant no resealing!!!! 

I must say that I have this problem all of the time. I know what I want and get frustrated when I can't find it. I want two tiles of the same size in a black and a brilliant white, and a larger wall tile in the SAME white, a no brainer really. I want a bathroom vanity that doesn't have the tap hole in it. I want wall taps that don't resemble a penis, I realise they are coming from the wall, then need to point the water downward, but please, can someone be a little creative???

I need a toilet, light switches, stringer, LED lighting hiatus. I can't think straight - information overload. The idea of having a builder who sends you to a particular shop to select from 5 tiles and lays them the way he wants is almost sounding like a beachside holiday right now. 

I can't believe I said that. My goodness, times are bad.




I really must send a huge thank you (and a fruit basket, ha ha) to my lovely bestie Ness. With her three kids in tow, she and I nailed through 25sqm of secondhand floorboards. 7 hours of hammering and pulling out nails whilst watching our seven kids play in the dirt, rusty nails and rain. Conditions were bad but she soldiered on and forced me to finish it and made it fun. You are star Ness and so are your kids. x

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